Pages

Symmetry ... It's the Way Things Have To Be

Ella doesn't like this photo because she thinks I look sad. What I haven't shared with her is that I was not sad .... I was pouting. I like this photo because it is one of the few pictures where my hair looks red. By the time I was eight the red had faded to a hint of auburn and to brown, not its final destination, but the one I am presently maintaining.

I was pouting because that morning I had lost a fight with my mother. The fight was over symmetry or lack there of.

It was the morning of school picture day and I was the product of her careful planning. Her vision was of two barretts placed together on one side. I actually remember her placing me in front of the full length mirror to view her work. I protested violently, YOU CAN'T HAVE TWO ON ONE SIDE.  And so history goes on to prove that to the victor goes the spoiled.

Symmetry was important to me. I would stomp my feet until both shoes had the same exact tension. If anything was uneven I just found it unbearable. I am sure I was.

In my early 20s, working as a waitress at a sushi bar, the only sushi bar in the state of Vermont at the time, I was joking with a guest that a waitress's job is never done. He told me I needed to listen to some Jane Siberry. He was certain I would enjoy the song "Waitress." I thought it was a great song. It really spoke to me and we laughed at the lyric
"I'm a drag at parties because it upsets me to see so many empties ... and I have to pick them up or I have to go home."
But the song off that "No Borders Here" album that really spoke to me was "Symmetry It's the Way Things Have To Be."

That entire album haunts me to this day.