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Give It A Year

1/11/11 Marks a year of great change.

It has been a year.

I have heard myself comfort friends with the words "give it a year." I say this because I am always amazed at the unexpected changes one year can bring.

Looking back I see my trip back to Vermont not one of grieving but one of reconnecting with family. A dream that I had long given up on came true, that of being with both my brothers in the same room, at the same time. I remember listing that dream in one of those "list your dreams exercises." I had listed it and quickly scratched it off ... it was absurd and probably a bit naive to think that could ever happen. But it did. And better, I have pictures to prove it.

My cousins, my aunt, childhood friends, all those voices and familiar faces surrounding you. The people who remember you when you were little. The people who can tell you the missing parts of your story. I sat at Nectars and watched Darin eat gravy soaked fries while I chugged a micro brew. I drove past my high school. I watched my family and community grieve. All at the same time, the wonderful, the sad, the heart felt, the silly, the bartender at the hotel bar. The emotional rawness of the trip seems to paint the memories in technocolor.

This year with Kate's arrival I have felt closer to my Mom than ever, after all Kate is my little "Lightning House Story," but that is a story for another time.

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu